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smile, even if it's going to be a fake one.
because things will get better somehow.
because the sun still shines for you.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
im really tired of it. arent you guys tired of comparing every single day? comparing, and competing with one another's results. its always the same old thing! i seriously hate comparing. do you all have a life of your own at all? can you all please please please stop stressing yourselves like some mad people in mental hospital? and giving that cold shoulder, or even that damn irritating stare when you found out that you lost to your classmate(or even your 'bestest' friend) by even merely half a mark. are you guys losing it?!

there are many cases of such comparisons. and im tired of them all. they make me puke. just a little complaint wont hurt me though. i complain sometimes too, for my bad results. i can be there to hear you spill your discontentment. i can comfort you. sometimes i start comforting people with higher marks than me even. its pefectly fine for me. but~ dont get overboard. i might just slap you.

last time, i really think that comparing, and competing will motivate me. i was 好胜, i dont doubt that. but now, i am exhausted. comparing kills. my self-esteem and confidence are already killed. they died tragically...

for a moment, i thought of going into a poly instead of a jc. i want to get away from all those childish comparisons. i want to get into ngee ann poly. i want to get into early childhood's course. or maybe temasek's designing course. "but... although you wont face much comparisons over results in a poly, you will still face comparisons over your everyday clothings." shuhui said. i agree with that. sigh! so what am i supposed to do?! i would like to enter a jc, and i yearn to enter NUS, but i cant take the stress. i cannot stand comparing everyday. i need to breathe! but on the other hand, i want to get into ngee ann poly. being a childcare teacher is my dream! its just that... i will not be able to enter NUS with an early childhood diploma. andand! worse of all, i will not be able to earn much. i need money! sigh, sigh, sigh! what a dilemma.

kathy ma`am was correct right from the start. 不要跟别人比. 人比人, 气死人.

i have decided... 我只跟我自己比.

i will win this battle for my own's sake, no matter what.

finally! after so long... today marks the twenty first! :]