smile, even if it's going to be a fake one.
because things will get better somehow.
because the sun still shines for you.
Monday, March 27, 2006
done my 2nd adriano yesterrday! yerhh! but liike... verii nort similar. i copied e 'campus superstar' from e 'by now' music video... but verii different larhhs. coss e video verii blurr marhs. so cant see properly. but i try my verii best liiaos.... hahas! when w i ever get to a hundred to send to adriano!!??
haiis. i will try my best. ok larhs, i gtg lerhhs. css on channel u!!! adriano rocks!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
biang erhh valerie chua... early in e mornin call me update blog. jus wake up niia got wad to update... ohhs! i noe lerhhs. dis mornin i pry open my eyes... saw my hp " 10.45am "... i shocked siias. nort coss its late or early. my heart jumped. i quickly crawl to e tv... like 'zhen zi' like tt. wif my hair covering my face. i on e tv. turn to channel u... den i saw its e show 'ma la xian shi'. guess wad im trying to do... lolls! i actuali thot todae is saturday. mornin 10am got campus superstar de encore. i shocked dio siias. lolls. thot i gonna miss anotha adriano. haiis.
stupid la valerie chua... ur comment on my tag veri wad siias...
adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano. adriano.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
dis are e pics taken on da day val, clara, cher, and me go out...
harhs! dis is e pic of e design i drew dis week. nice rites! every week i gonna do one design for adriano. lolls. and my aim is to do a hundred. den i send dem all to adriano. hahas!
adriano kana eliminated liiaos.... so dam sad lorh me. adriano stil rocks my life.
XD
Thursday, March 23, 2006
haiis. adriano out liiaos. i reali dam bloody sad. adriano rocks. okayys. don feel like blogging liiaos. jus wanna announce to da world... ADRIANO rocks.
xD
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
okayys. ii verii stress now. headache. ii realii donn feel happy iin school now. exceptt for clara. onlii clara makes me feel like going to sch... and valerie chua. haiis... frens. my education, my studiies. all goiing down daa draiin. failed a maths. i will nvr forget that. den failed f&n, eng common test paper... wth. den my physics, chem, e maths, hmt. all not up to standard. chicken feet papers... yet i don get wadd ii think i shd get... including history. upon 10, i got onli 7 when others got 10. i am stupid larhs.
but wadds more! guides pressuring me. sec one de me is owaes da trying to be first lorh. i nort scared to say... i really aimed to be the CL for guides. and President for sports leader. i triied to duu everythin, ii wan to be e best. but afterr a few months, ii loosenn myself. i don wanna set suchh hiigh aims for myself le. coss i feel tired. but i stil tried to do my best larhs.
now that ive quiited sports leader. i feel more relaxed andd happy. ii donn feel so busy as before. being crammed up wiif everythiing in my liife. summre i was made da committee of sports leader. i feel tensed up... so i decided to quit. up til now, i think ive made da right choice. i cant stand havin so mny burdens on my backk. so ii am happy ii haf da guts to let some go.
back to guides. now that im in da top 6. i feel more stress. initially i was glad and happy thatt i was made da top 6. coss i thiink that at least der is a some sort of payback for my hardwork and a lil sacrfices ive put in guides. i had enjoyed guides trainings so much last tym. now... it was all different. im starting to noe more on how cerlyn feels. ii gort no fren lorhs. top 6. da closest is yi siew. but i stil feel 'extra'. i dono wad to do.
last tym was stil alrite for me. but 2dae. its da worse guides trainin ever. worse dan makin me do pumping for a hundred tiimes. iim in charge of sec 3 guides todae. everythin was nort going smoothly... maybe coss we oredy know each other so well... so dey don get tt serious. fren fren marhhs. at first stil can cope. coss got madeline. but after tt mad went to see doc coss of her leg... dey start to get out of control. esp eileen and sylvia. no matter how i say, dey are showing tt dey are nort interested. but i not angry wiif dem. cos i noe i will oso like tt. veri relaxed. and wanns to slack. but its nort tt i donn wan let dem slack. i tryin my best to balance everithin liiaos. makin dem learn the drills and at e same time feel relax. but... everithin is nort rite lorh.
i quite stess wif it lerhhs. some more i top 6. stupid siias. makin me feel more stress. i wans to be a leader. but i don feel tt im coping it well. sec threes don listen! aline, yi siew... dey talked to me a while... aline knew my prob. she tried to lighten me up. iim verii grateful.
oh yarhs. worse still. after tt siew hoon (CL) came to observe. e sec threes although tried to do their best in front of her. but still, dey are slacking. i tried to show siew hoon i can do it. i can be a leader. but her presence made me nervous. i stammered over e commands... den e drills of da sec threes was like... 'omg'. i reali felt like crying. while dey were marchin, i owaes went behind e squad. in case my tears became uncontrollable and roll dwn my cheeks, no one sees it. iim afraid siew hoon w see it. and e others.
i don blame e other top 4 huu were present for makin me take charge of e worse batch(the sec 3s). makin me lose confidence of myself and makin feel like a fool infront of siewhoon. and makin me feel so damm bloody stress. ii noe dey haf their stresses too. and i jus reali gort so unlucky. dats why. and i don blame e sec threes too. dey tried lerhhs. and dey had beared all my naggings... 'don drag ur feet...' 'straighten ur arms lerh!' 'serious la.' their ears were in hell too. so, i don reali push all e faults to dem. but i jus reali reali reali wish tt eileen and sylvia w put in a lil more effort... ... i dono larhhs. but i jus feel tt iim dead oredy...
iim reali veri tired of everithing. i am a stupid person... my studies all flunked. but i swear, i really put in effort in everythin i do dis year. but so wad wif all e efforts? iim still a stupid person. detest myself. next. i am a person lackin of leadership. stupid girl. stil be guides de top 6. i don deserve to be one of demm lorhs. i rather be a normal guide.
plus plus plus... adriano out lerhhs. campus superstar... haiis. i was so dam bloody sad. last nite i burst into tears when i saw tt he was out. haiis. renfred although oso nort bad. but i cant bear adriano. in fact. it was last nite when ii start to haf a liking to adriano. dis yr i tried to put all my concentration in my studies. so refrain myself from going gaga over any idol. like leon lim yu zhi from project superstar... he made me flunk my exams last yr... i ran omos everywhre to support him... so now i decided nort to make myself busy animore. so i tried nort to like any of e campus superstars... but last nite. adriano's elimination changed everithing. i like him lohhs. its such a pity.
its reali a sad day today... iim tired of everithin... really, i am.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
jus now went to century square to eat.... den at food court daddy and me chatted dao my ah gong. den i realised my ah gong de life so hard. he was so dam lucky since young lohhs. in chi called wad fu2 da4 ming4 da4. whoaas. when he was young horh, younger dan me dat tym, he was electrified siias. the lightning jus flashed down and my ah gong faint. fainted a few days den wake up. den afterr that ok liiaos. so lucky rite! den a few months before WW2... his business in china was dam bloody bad. so he quitted and and took a ship back to singapore. den tt nite gt thunderstorm lorh!! denn e ship sank siias. lucky him. he gt a a float and den gt anotha small ship saved him. whoass. i dono gt ppl so lucky one...
den WW2. alot of guys were being sent to da changi beach derr to b shot. my ah gong was one of dem. on one of da lorries. but half way in da forest, e japanese dragged dem down da lorry... and leave dem der. den e japs went away. we all think tt e lorry jus gt a new task to do. so e ppl on da lorry, includin my ah gong ran into e forest... deep inside. den later walked back home.
my ah gong de ming4 verii da4 rite. haiis. bt las yr pass away liiaos....
Thursday, March 16, 2006
just finish doing da corrections for da a maths common test paper. and found out tt i gt mny careless mistakes... omos da whole paper got dis stupid mistakes. da 1st working tt i do... and der it goes. my marks. biang. wad is dis. i m so dam careless. dono whether i shd b hapi or angry. hapi coss i noe tt its nort tt i don understand... i understand all da questions. and tt i did not waste my one month's time for nothing. angry cos i wasted one month's time on a maths and yet i get so mny careless mistakes...A MATHS....... I WILL DEFEAT YOU. MEET YOUR DOOM.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
hehhhs. todae went out wiif clara, valerie and chereng... clara... normal her. as pretty as ever. valerie... so dam chio. hair so straight. skirt so nice. lolls. chereng... pinkiish. den a lil revealing. nvr see her dress like dis before.we oso nvr duu wad larhs. jus catch a movie at cenileisure. big momma 2 so dam cute siia. luff and luff and luff...
oh yarh, before tt went to take neoprints. e 1st shot not nice de. wasted our 9 dollars! den took second round. stil nort bad. now all with clara to scan e pics... w later upload hre too... and mayb frenster. i see i pretty anort 1st. hahhahs.
haiyarhs. verii tired arhs. tml stil got guides. don wan type much lerhhs. jus wanna say i love you yao guo! u are my best brother ever. thnkkew for fetchin my wallet all da way to whitesands for me. i love you.
oh yarhhs. last words. MUD SUCKS TO DA CORE.
lolls. and dis are pictures of e shirt my bro and me haf drawn as a present forr daddy. all DIY one worhhs....
and obviouslii da back of da shirt is i draw one.....
Monday, March 13, 2006
justt fiinish eatiing daa cake me n my bro made forr daddy. lolls. he mus haff a hard time swallowin it.but iin any case... i wann tell da whole world thatt.... ii realli lurve my daddy alortt....
hapi birthday to euu....
hapi birthday to euu....
hapi birthday to daddy....
hapi birthday to euu....
andd sorri daddy. for nort givin euu daa best giftt... ii failed my a maths....
e funny cake....
Sunday, March 12, 2006
e 'LONELY' design ive been talkin about. designed by me and valerie chua in class.
wad ive drawn last nite...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
failed my a maths. i donno wad to say. or to b specific, i dono how to put it. im reali very sad about it. i haf been studying for it... at least one month a go. yet i get this kind of results. my parents know ttt iim havin some troubles wif it. they are not angry wif me when i announced tt ive failed my a maths. but tt made me feel worse. i haf expected to fail. bt didnt expect it to b tt bad. 19 half... wad a nice digit. but i simply hate it.chapter four of a maths... its e one tt ive been crackin my head on. my dad has owaes been by my side to support n console me. i don understand chapter four. and yet he stayed up a few nights reading my a maths textbook... just to exlain e concepts to me. im so damm touched. he worked whole day. when he came back from home, after dinner, he w take my a maths book and read it. do e exercises which ive highlighted(e ones which im havin troubles wif)... he did it jus for me... iim so sad when i found out i failed my common test.
e previous a maths cls test... i failed it too. i was sad. but ive promised tt i will definiteli pass my common test. and yet... ... wad kind of stupid result is tt? everione seems to win me... ive reali tried my best. i controlled my tears in class... not lettin val, cher, rachel, leon noe tt im sad. when i reach outside of sch, and parted wif dem, i let my tears roll dwn. den i called my mum while waitin for clara outside sch.
i told mummy bout e news. i noe whe is disappointed wif it. but yet she consoled me. she didnt scold me. bt tt made me feel even more sad... i feel tt ive owed dem too much... while cryin, leon wu saw me. he passed me a packet of tissue. and he consoled me. im so touched...
i studied til late nites... jus for dis common test... ive let my daddy and mummy down...
later, clara reached and she consoled me too. den we went tampines mall... den century square... den back to tm... den to century sq... ive forgotten bout e test... we played like mad. we even plan to smuggle in e cinema to watch final destination 3 which is nc16... bt gt caught. it was veri funny... ive reali forgotten bout e sadness when im wif clara... thnkkew clara...
when i reach home, its bout 8. dad's not home yet. i went up for a bath and dad's back. hw bought supper. i put up a front while eatin. den i pluck up my courage... tellin him e bad news. he wasnt angry too. he even said tt a maths is like tt, tellin me tt its normal to fail a maths. and jus try again nex round. im veri grateful to him. but why didnt he scold me?! i wan him to scold me... reali. or else i w b even more sad...
he doesnt noe... 19 and a half is so bad. people ard me hu are nort reali escellin in maths can even get 20 or more... but me! i don understand... 47/60 for e maths... and 19half/60 for a maths??! stupid!
i hate myself for being stupid. i jus detest myself...
leekeat. u are such a stupid and idiotic moron... a FAILURE.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
biang. dono iizit yesterdayy eatt too muchh. todayy iin school ii feel so fatt siia. denn ii wiil fiiddle wiif my skiirt... why ii so fatt arhhs. ii gott eatt a lott merhhs?now iin class ii salckiing larhhs.thohh iits alreadyy commonn testt. valeriie chuaa andd me iin class kiip desiigning 'LONELY'. a stupid paper wiif a stupiid theme. lolls. but we realii diid try ourr bestt to make iit niice lerh lorhhs. our maiin purpose iis to uploadd iit up on frensterr... strictly onlii me and val huu diid iit euu noe...? lolls. chereng wanns add iin we saiid 'no' in unisonn. lolls. so funny. but dono why chereng stil took e pink maker andd put a dot on iit. den val dono say wad wiff a lil anger larhhs. den chereng saiid wad one dot onli, never miind. wa lauu. ii donn wann say anithing liiao. when she knew thatt dis iish val's andd my design. andd we reali strictly wanns iit to be done by us onlii... haiis. ii dono how to react larhhs. oh yarhhs. andd thats yesterday... todayy we justt contiinue wiif iit lohhs... ii haff coveredd e pink EXTRA dot wiif my 'wouned heart'... will oso upload our diseign hre whenn iits done...
tml e mathhs arhhs! wann go study lerhhs. stupiid iindices. so compliicatedd. grr.
Monday, March 06, 2006
haiis. feel thatt ii too long neverr blogg le. guilty siia. feel thatt iive lett blogspot down... so cumm bckk blogging siince tmr no common test. shuangg siia. tmr otherrs haviin biio den we slack iin class. shiiok arhhs. lucky ii iin three 'e four... no bio. alamak.. i see clara study tiil liike wad liike tt... so poor thiing. but still... good luck to euu clara... =)todayy iish my english common test lohhs. haiyarhhs. so dam de siian. regret puutiing my head on e table before e test.. makin me more tiired... den during test ii like wann slp don slp liike thatt. grr. i was so tired lorhs reali. sekali i missed out a few questiions i oso dono siia.
oh yarhhs. before da test duringg assembly... fiiona criied agaiin. it was so suddenn lorhhs. ii was liistenin to mr raj while he talked about e stupidd L.E.A.P.S thing. den suddenli fiona shouted. i looked at her wif amazement... her voice stiill as bloody-sound as everr. so longg everr siince ii played wiif herr lerhhs... okayys. back to assembly. den fiiona criied. i was so damm shocked. den i see alex, cher hao and their gang behind her... smiling at each other... i asked samuel wad hapenn... denn he told me alex poked fiiona.
well.. i cant stand iit. dis iish stupid. why alex wanna go poke fiona? provoke herr or play wiif her!? wa lao. diis iish so dam de bo liiao lorh please. chiildiish... fiiona ish so ke liian lorh. kana bullied ever siince sec one... now tt she grow up le. already a sec 3 giirl. yet stupiid and irriitating ppl stiil wann go ka jiiao her... wa lao... i never knew alex iis so bad de lorhh... last tym he stil help me finish my sociial studiies afternn prog. worksheet... stil plannin to thank him some day de... but noww... siia larhhs. duhh! no way mann. how dare he bully my frenn... oso don go bully e person ii hate... stupiid ppl duu stupiid thiings siia.
denn wayne oso. whoaa. why deyy all so bad de arhhs? alex... cher hao... and dono huu dono huu larhhs. alamak. wayne oso wann bully. deyy real biig bulliies siia. poor wayne andd fiiona... haiis. ii realii dono wad to duu as a frenn... iim useless, ii don doubtt iit.... sorry guyys.
