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stories biography escapes archives



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smile, even if it's going to be a fake one.
because things will get better somehow.
because the sun still shines for you.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
grr. so paiseh sia. i got it all wrong. my SA2. no As, and no B3~!!! sucky hell. my L1R5 is 29 lehh! JC see me want to run away liao lorr. then my L1R4... 23~!!! eee. got poly want me?! bloody hell. what kind of score is this. 2 B4, 3 C5, 2 C6. BLEH~

let me list out my overall...

ENGLISH LANGUAGE - 53 - C6
HIGHER CHINESE - 56 - C5
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS - 52 - C6
MATHEMATICS - 61 - B4
SCIENCE(PHY, CHEM) - 59 - C5
COMBINED HUMANITIES (S, H) - 64 - B4
FOOD AND NUTRITION - 58 - C5

total : 403/700
percentage : 57.6
class position : 19/42
level position : 123/246
L1R4 aggregate : 23
L1R5 aggregate : 29

arggh. this kind of results. people around me said that its the cause of... you know. being busy around with the events. BUT. i only agree to a small extent.(i feel as if im doing some kind of history essay questions)

despite that i have little time to perfect my subjects, i SWEAR that i have done my best. i will not have the heart to mug anyway if i dont attend to any of the events. so why not let me go and play around with MESS?! i need time to relieve stress too de you know? i understand why adults hated me for attending those events, but dont you all get it that im happy with it? i dont wish my results to be this horrible anyway. if i know the route to success, if i am clever enough, i would not have studied one month in advance to prepare for my end of year exams already isnt it?!

I HAVE TRIED MY BEST FOR THIS END OF YEAR. i really did. why are the adults still not happy with it? my results may have deteriorated tremendously as compared to SA1, but is the results the only factor the adults see?! what about the DOZENS of topics which we have to memorise and learn? what about the stress we were having, being afraid that we might get retained?

for SA1, my MATHEMATICS, i got an A2. this time round, i got a B4. what the heck. im feeling disappointed with myself too you know? why are the adults only thinking that i have been playing around and not study harder and get better grades? i am feeling so innocent. I HAVE REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO SCORE WELL WHAT. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT?!

im not satisfied with my results. but in between my SA1 and EOY, i had my CA. comparing my CA and my SA. my godd. i admit that its such a far cry. i failed my MATHEMATICS, ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS, and COMBINED SCIENCE. for end of year, i pia dao like SHIT. who knows about it? and for the paper, i finally passed them. i was happy then. i am happy that i have improved. but i didnt even get any encouragement! all the remarks i got were "see laa. you should have make good use of your time instead of [you know what]." "you could have done better if you didnt waste your time in [you know what]." etc.

OK. i dont know what im blabbering. im just typing out how i feel this moment. my parents are relieved that i have passed all subjects, but worried for my Os next year. as in like... worried if i could get into a JC, or even a POLY.

what if i cant do it? i DONT WANT to give up in the you-know-what. cos thats the only time whereby im enjoying myself, and doing all kinds of stupid things with MESS. making a hell lot of noise in public, fooling around with them, disturbing everyone, laughing out loud like no one's business etc.

but what if i cant even enter a POLY? what a nice stuck-in-the-middle situation. can someone please cast a spell on me or something to make me cleverer? ive had enough with all the naggings i had from the adults. first time nagging, i will treat it as a warning, i will keep it in mind, and restrict myself a little. second time nagging, i have already restricted myself a little and yet you are still not happy. never mind. i will treat it as a gentle reminder. third time nagging, i will think that you are interfering my life. thats what i think. i hate naggings. but thank god my parents werent like that. we talk nicely to each other, and i really spit out EVERYTHING to them. they know what im doing. i dont wish to lie to them or stuffs. i want them to know who im out with, and what i do.

haiyarr. enough of it.

oh yaa. THANKS KHAI FOR THAT PAPER.
i agree that our distance are getting further. uhmm. but no worries girl~ i will still be there for you. all the best for your O level malay arr~!!! jia you too~ x)